Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
