I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
