Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't turn off my feet"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
