I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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