Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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