So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
