Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
