This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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