I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
