Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
