It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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