Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
