I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
