I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
