i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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