Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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