i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Sober January is a disaster.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
