just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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