could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
