Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
