I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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