I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
