and she was petting her beer can
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I party with great urgency now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize