so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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