are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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