Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You can't just leave with hair like that
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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