69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
