Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What drink are we having for lunch?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
