what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I skipped work to stalk him.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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