He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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