the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Did you just see the Batmobile???
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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