I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
How's work?
Spinning.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You need a sexual gate keeper
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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