you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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