Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
