This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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