would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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