She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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