I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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