New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
