I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
someone owes me an orgasm
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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