I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize