I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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