So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
