I think i peed on brittanys purse
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Randomize
