rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i think im in europe. pls send help
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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