so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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