these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
