i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize