girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
