My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
