so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
