somebody snuck up and got me drunk
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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