Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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