suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
