Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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