is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
