Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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