She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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