I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize