I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
