Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
