It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
