I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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