you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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