I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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