What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize