$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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