Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What a dumb baby whore.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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