i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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