2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Please, let me fuck your mom
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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