we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
