I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
