I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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