I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
