They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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